One thing I have learned in the past 7 years is that I am not made to be a stay at home parent. And that’s okay.
When K was born, I was heart broken that I couldn’t stay at home with her. I had to work, but there was nothing I wanted more than to stay home with her.
Towards the end of my pregnancy with B, I decided to do just that. Stay at home with K.
It was fun. For awhile.
We were able to go out and do playdates during the week with friends. We could hang out together at home. I liked it. For awhile.
Two months after B was born, I returned to work. Since that time, my full time jobs have dwindled down to part time jobs. Now, I spend more time at home than I do at my outside job and I can confirm with all certainty, I am not made to be a stay at home parent. And that’s okay.
As a person, I need my space. I need quiet.
I am okay staying home for a couple days, but after the third and fourth day; I’m spent.
I am short tempered. I am irritable. I am cranky. I need time to myself. And that’s okay.
It doesn’t make me less of a parent. It doesn’t make me a horrible person. It makes me human.
I love my kids. There is nothing I wouldn’t do for my kids. I would move Heaven and Earth for my kids if needed. But I am human too. I need space. I need quiet. I need to recharge my mind, body, and self to be a good parent. To be a good mom. To be a good human.
I spend my afternoon and evenings with my kids (I currently work part time outside of the home, two days a week, for 4-5 hours a day; and am home with them 5 days a week). We cuddle. We talk. We play together. We go out together. I am still their mom and I feel like taking that break away for myself brings us closer because I am less short tempered. I am less irritable.
If you are a stay at home parent, props to you. Some people are made for it. Some people are happy doing it. Some love being a stay at home parent. And that’s okay. You will never find me saying a bad thing about a stay at home parent.
There are some parents like myself who are not made to stay home. There are some parents like me who are not happy doing it. There are some parents who need their time, their space, and their quiet. And that’s okay. You will never find me saying a bad thing about a working parent.
No matter which parent you are, it doesn’t make you better than the other. It doesn’t mean you are a bad parent or a good parent. No matter which parent you are, it’s okay.