One thing I have noticed a lot of lately is parents questioning when their child should…
“When should we get rid of the pacifier?”
“When should my child be potty trained?”
There are others, but these seem to be the big questions I see a lot of lately; so I thought I would share the pressure of when our child should – regardless of what that should is.
Now, I am no expert, but I really have to wonder why we as parents stress out so darn much about these things and then I realize – society makes us feel guilty or judges us for doing what we feel is right for our children.
When B was 2, the pediatrician made a big deal about him losing the pacifier right then.
A will be 2 next months and she still has the pacifier and I don’t see it going away in the next month. I have a friend who’s son has his pacifier and he is going to be 3 in May and another friend who’s son is 4 and has a pacifier.
You hear people potty training their kids under the age of 2 using the 3 day potty method and that is acceptable and ‘norm’ whereas my children who potty trained at 3 1/2 years are ‘behind’.
When I am pondering the pressure of when our child should… I am reminded of my mother in law’s words:
“Have you ever seen a kindergartner…”
Have you ever seen an atypical kindergartner wearing diapers? (I say atypical because I know there are certain circumstances and development delays that can be cause for a kindergartner to wear diapers. That is an entirely different situation.)
Have you ever seen a kindergartner with their pacifier?
Again, I haven’t. A thumb or finger maybe, but we can’t cut those off to help them stop that habit.
As parents, we stress over what we think our children should be doing or what another child is doing or not doing.
As parents, we really need to give ourselves credit, but we really need to stop comparing our parenting skills and our children to other parents and other children.
Every parent, every child, and every family is different.
Whatever works for one may not work for another so please, stop worrying about what your child should and just go with what feels natural to you.
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